Finding a balance between work and self-care can be incredibly challenging especially for high achievers. Our relentless pursuit of productivity and success often leaves little room for personal well-being. Over time, I've learned that the struggle to prioritise self-care is deeply influenced by ingrained beliefs about work, success and personal worth.

If you often find yourself saying things like "I’m not being productive when I take breaks," "Success requires sacrificing well-being " or "I’m too busy for self-care," then you're grappling with limiting beliefs. These beliefs shape our behaviour and hinder us from prioritising our own well-being.

So if you want to know more about the 10 common self-care limiting beliefs I see in my coaching practice, delve deeper into the top 3 to understand how they impact your behaviour and discover actionable steps to break free from the cycle of self-neglect, then this blog is for you.

What Are Beliefs?

Beliefs are the mental constructs that shape our perception of reality and guide our actions. They are deeply ingrained assumptions about ourselves, others and the world around us, which are often formed during the imprint stage of childhood and reinforced throughout our lives.

Our beliefs are influenced by a variety of factors, including our upbringing, cultural background, personal experiences and societal norms, forming our own unique perception of the way things are.

How Beliefs Shape Our World

Beliefs serve as cognitive shortcuts, helping us make sense of the world and navigate complex situations, determining how we should behave in different contexts. Our brain is a large pattern-matching organism that will unconsciously look for evidence to confirm and reinforce our beliefs.

But it’s important to understand that beliefs shape our subjective reality and influence how we perceive and interpret events, which can differ significantly from objective reality. For example, two people can experience the same event but interpret it completely differently based on their beliefs.

Beliefs act as filters through which we perceive reality, influencing what we notice, remember, and prioritise. The Reticular Activating System (RAS), a network of neurons in the brainstem, plays a crucial role in this process by selectively filtering sensory information based on our beliefs and priorities.

So when it comes to Type A women, for example, we’re more attuned to cues and signals that validate our belief in the importance of constant striving while potentially disregarding or downplaying signals that suggest the need for balance and self-care.

The RAS reinforces this belief by filtering sensory information to prioritise stimuli related to work, productivity and achievement, disregarding or downplaying signals such as the need for rest and overlooking the signs of burnout or exhaustion.

Top 10 Self-Care Common Limiting Beliefs

There’s no surprise when it comes to self-care limiting beliefs that there are some common themes . Here are the top 10 that I see frequently in my coaching practice:

1. "I'm not being productive when I take breaks."

2. "Success requires sacrificing personal well-being."

3. "I'm too busy for self-care."

4. "Work comes first."

5. "My worth is defined by my achievements."

6. "Self-care is selfish."

7. "I'll fall behind if I take time for myself."

8. "I can handle it without self-care."

9. "Self-care is time-consuming."

10. "I should be able to handle everything on my own."

So let’s delve into the top 3 to understand where these beliefs can come from and what actionable next steps you can take.

1. "I'm Not Being Productive When I Take Breaks"

This belief often stems from the misconception that productivity is solely measured by the amount of time spent working without interruptions. It assumes that taking breaks detracts from overall productivity.

However, the reality is that taking breaks is essential for maintaining focus, restoring energy levels and preventing burnout. Research has shown that regular breaks can improve cognitive function, creativity and overall well-being, leading to greater productivity in the long run.

Breaks allow the brain to rest and recharge, making it easier to sustain attention and concentration during periods of focused work. Additionally, breaks provide opportunities for relaxation, physical activity and social connection, which are all important for maintaining optimal performance and mental health.

This belief of “I'm not being productive when I take breaks” overlooks the benefits of incorporating breaks into the workday and the role breaks play in enhancing productivity and well-being.

Actionable Next Steps:

• Educate Yourself: Delve into research and expert articles that highlight the benefits of taking regular breaks. Understanding the neuroscience behind breaks, such as how they enhance cognitive function, creativity and overall mental health can help shift your mindset. Look for studies that show how breaks improve focus and productivity in the long run to help you see breaks as an investment rather than a distraction.

• Schedule Breaks: Integrate breaks into your daily schedule using methods like the Pomodoro Technique. This technique involves working for 25 minutes and then taking a 5-minute break. By incorporating these short breaks into your routine and setting alarms or reminders, you can ensure that breaks become a consistent part of your workday, helping to prevent burnout and maintain productivity.

• Mindful Breaks: Make your breaks purposeful by engaging in activities that genuinely refresh and rejuvenate you. Instead of scrolling through social media, use this time for physical activities such as stretching or taking a short walk, or mental practices like deep breathing, meditation or mindfulness exercises. These activities can help you return to work with increased focus and energy, enhancing your overall performance.

• Track Productivity: Maintain a journal or use productivity apps to log your work patterns and break schedules. Track your energy levels, mood and productivity before and after breaks to understand the impact of breaks on your performance. Over time, you’ll be able to see trends and make adjustments to your break schedule to optimise your work efficiency and well-being. A simple approach is plan and take a lunch break daily using your calendar app and note how you feel after compared to when you don’t take a proper lunch break.

  

2. "Success Requires Sacrificing Personal Well-Being"

If you’re a Type A woman like me, you may hold the belief that success requires sacrificing your personal well-being. This belief serves as a cognitive shortcut, helping you make sense of the demands of your work and the pressure to achieve professional excellence.

When you prioritise work over your own self-care needs, you may justify it by relying on the belief that success in your career necessitates putting your personal well-being on the back burner. This belief influences your behaviour—you may work long hours, neglect breaks, and prioritise work goals over your physical, emotional and mental health.

Your brain, as a pattern-matching organism, will unconsciously look for evidence to confirm and reinforce that belief. If you achieve career milestones or receive recognition for your accomplishments, such as promotions or awards, it reinforces your belief in the connection between sacrificing personal well-being and achieving success.

However, it's important to recognise that this belief system isn't necessarily accurate or sustainable. While dedication and hard work are important for professional success, neglecting your well-being can lead to burnout and decreased productivity.

Actionable Next Steps:

• Redefine Success: Take time to reflect on your personal definition of success beyond just career achievements. Consider including elements such as physical health, emotional well-being, mental health, relationships and personal growth in your definition. Creating a more holistic view of success can help you prioritise a balanced approach to work and life, making room for self-care without feeling like you're sacrificing professional goals.

• Role Models: Seek out and learn from individuals who embody a balanced approach to success. Look for role models who manage to achieve professional excellence while also maintaining their well-being. Read their biographies, follow their blogs or social media and study their strategies for integrating self-care with high performance. Adopting similar practices can help you model a more balanced and sustainable approach to your own success.

• Set Boundaries: Clearly define and communicate your work-life boundaries. Establish specific work hours and personal time and make a commitment to stick to them. For instance, decide that you will not check work emails after a certain time in the evening. Communicate these boundaries to your colleagues and superiors to manage expectations and ensure that your personal time is respected.

• Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion by acknowledging that taking care of yourself is not a sign of weakness but a necessary component of long-term success. Remind yourself that investing in your well-being can enhance your effectiveness and resilience. When you feel guilty about taking time for yourself, counteract it with affirmations that reinforce the idea that well-being is a vital part of sustained achievement and personal fulfilment and consider belief change exercises (more on this at the end of the blog).

3. "I'm Too Busy for Self-Care"

The belief that "I'm too busy for self-care" is another top self-care limiting belief.  It often stems from the perception that self-care is a luxury that can only be afforded when all work tasks are complete. This mindset equates busyness with importance and productivity, leaving little room for personal well-being.

However, this belief is both misleading and detrimental. Viewing self-care as a dispensable activity undermines its critical role in maintaining mental, emotional and physical health. In reality, self-care is essential for sustaining long-term productivity and overall well-being. When we neglect self-care, we risk burnout, decreased efficiency and a decline in the quality of our work.

Type A women particularly may find themselves caught in a cycle of constant busyness, driven by the pressure to meet high standards and accomplish more. This relentless pace can lead to chronic stress and exhaustion, further reinforcing the belief that there's no time for self-care. It's a vicious cycle: the more we neglect our well-being, the more our capacity to handle stress diminishes, making us even busier and less productive.

To break free from this limiting belief, it is crucial to recognise that self-care is not a reward for hard work but a fundamental part of maintaining peak performance and health. By integrating self-care into our daily routines, we can enhance our resilience and boost our productivity.

Actionable Next Steps:

• Prioritise Self-Care: Treat self-care as an essential part of your schedule by blocking out dedicated time for it in your calendar. This means scheduling self-care activities such as exercise, hobbies, or relaxation as you would a work meeting or important task. By making these appointments non-negotiable, you prioritise your well-being and ensure that it remains a fundamental part of your daily routine.

• Start Small: Introduce small, manageable self-care practices into your routine to make them more feasible. Begin with activities that require minimal time, such as a 5-minute meditation, a brief walk, or a few minutes of stretching. These small actions can be easily incorporated into your day and gradually build up to larger self-care practices, helping to prevent overwhelm and fostering a habit of self-care.

• Delegate Tasks: Identify tasks and responsibilities that can be delegated to others to free up time for self-care. This might involve delegating work projects to team members or outsourcing personal tasks like grocery shopping or household chores. By sharing the load, you can create more space in your schedule for self-care without compromising your responsibilities.

• Evaluate Commitments: Regularly assess your commitments to determine which ones are truly essential and which can be reduced or eliminated. This evaluation might involve reviewing work obligations, personal responsibilities and social engagements. Prioritise activities that contribute to your well-being and remove or minimise those that do not, creating more time and energy for self-care.

• Time Blocking: Use time-blocking techniques to allocate specific periods of your day for work, self-care and leisure activities. This method involves dividing your day into blocks of time dedicated to different activities, ensuring that you have designated periods for both productivity and relaxation. By organizing your day this way, you can achieve a balanced approach and avoid the trap of overcommitting to work.

• Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your self-care practices and their impact on your overall well-being and productivity. Take note of what works well and what doesn’t and make adjustments as needed. For example, if a particular self-care activity isn’t as effective as you hoped, try experimenting with different activities to find what best supports your needs and maintains balance.

• Seek Support: Build a support network of friends, family, or colleagues who understand and respect the importance of self-care. Share your self-care goals with them and seek their encouragement and accountability. Surrounding yourself with people who support your efforts can help reinforce your commitment to self-care and provide motivation to maintain a balanced lifestyle.

Dismantling Limiting Beliefs

While our beliefs may be influenced by external factors, we ultimately have the power to choose what we believe. There are some great ways to consciously examine and challenge your beliefs and here are 2 example techniques I use in my coaching practice:

Byron Katie's method

Byron Katie's method, The Work, is a transformative approach to identifying and questioning thoughts. It involves four key questions that challenge the validity of limiting beliefs:

"Is it true?" which asks you to examine whether the belief is an absolute truth or just a subjective interpretation.

"Can you absolutely know it's true?" which considers whether you can be certain of the belief’s truth in every possible context.

"How do you react when you believe that thought?” which explores your emotional and behavioural responses when you hold the belief, helping you see its impact on your well-being.

"Who would you be without the thought?" which prompts you to imagine your life and self-perception without the belief, revealing how it shapes your identity and experiences.

The process is completed with a turnaround, where the original belief is reversed to explore alternative perspectives. Using this approach helps you gain clarity and shift from limiting beliefs to more balanced, liberating beliefs.

Cartesian Coordinates method

The Cartesian Coordinates method, inspired by René Descartes' principles of systematic doubt, is another structured approach to examining and transforming limiting beliefs. This method involves a series of analytical questions designed to challenge and reframe your beliefs which includes:

“What will happen if you do believe this?” which explores the consequences and impacts of holding the belief.

“What will happen if you don’t believe this?” which considers the outcomes and possibilities if you let go of the belief.

“ What won’t happen if you believe this?” which identifies what potential benefits or opportunities might be missed by maintaining the belief.

“What won’t happen if you don’t believe this?” which examines what might be gained or improved by abandoning the belief.

This process encourages critical reflection and helps you adopt more empowering and balanced perspectives by thoroughly evaluating the implications of limiting beliefs.

Conclusion

Recognising and overcoming limiting beliefs is a crucial step in prioritising self-care and achieving a healthier work-life balance. By taking the actionable steps provided and using techniques like Byron Katie’s The Work or the Cartesian Coordinates method you can transform your beliefs and approach to self-care and overall well-being.

Take the first step today by choosing one limiting belief to challenge and apply the actionable steps outlined.

Additional Support

If you find yourself struggling with deeply ingrained limiting beliefs, there are other effective methods that can offer substantial support in transforming your mindset including Hypnotherapy, Time Line Therapy, EFT and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques, such as submodalities belief change. You can find more information on these at www.mindsetandselfcarecoach.com/coaching and www.mindsetandselfcarecoach.com/packages

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